Book Review: The Power of Ritual
Are you as obsessed with rituals as I am?
I find them powerful, mysterious, connecting, and super grounding.
I always saw rituals as a way to anchor oneself in a life that is too busy and fast for our own good.
Modern life is unfortunately so damn chaotic and there’s endless background noise and chatter and conflicting priorities, and the pressure to do more, be better. And it’s so easy to have life pass you by, without really feeling anything meaningful.
But then you have your little rituals to keep you grounded and tied to life. Rituals to keep you present, rituals to remind you that you’re human, rituals to remind you that there’s goodness in your life no matter what is going on, rituals to remind you of where you came from and who you hope to be, rituals to connect you to something bigger, rituals to mourn and forgive and celebrate…
I also love how rituals are so individual, like an inside secret that you kept going time after time. No matter the ritual, everyone puts their own special flair on it. And I love finding out other people’s rituals so I can get a sneak peek into their life and what they fin important.
So when I saw Casper Ter Kuile’s new book The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices, I knew I had to check it out.
The Power of Ritual
Kuile is a co-host of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast, a Harvard divinity fellow, and researcher on How We Gather — really cool research on the changing culture of gathering.
The goal of his book is to “show you how you can transform your daily habits into practices that create a sacred foundation for your life.”
As Casper Her Kuile states, “Rituals create patters of the greatest capacities that I believe were given to us in the process of evolution and elaborated upon in our cultural evolution our capacity to share, to sing, to chant, to revere, to find beauty, to donate, to imagine, to quiet reflect, and to sense something beyond what we see. … Rituals make the invisible connections that make life meaningful, visible.”
Kuile explains rituals through the framework of four connections that build off of each other:
yourself, the people around you, the natural world, and the “transcendent”.
He says through these four connections, we will feel deeply connected and our lives will be “held within a rich latticework of meaning”. Through these connections, we experience more aliveness, more feelings of belonging, and are able to transverse the challenging parts of our lives.
I liked how it reminds us that we are more than our singular selves. That we have been lied to by the Western, modern world that preaches individualism and how we only need ourselves.
But we need so much more.
I truly believe one of the reasons we feel so empty, unhappy, and searching for the next new thing is the lack of the four combinations.
It’s also important to note how he constantly reminding us that we do so many of the things he’s bringing to light. We’re not starting at ground zero, which is always a great reminder. He suggests that we just bring more intention and focus to the things we’re already doing
While he dives into the four connections, I’ll be chatting about the two that hit home the most: connecting with self and connecting with nature.
Connecting with Self
Kuile went into detail about the Sabbath. So many of us are lacking quality time with ourselves. It’s so easy to be busy, to zone out and distract, to keep trying to achieve or cross off that to-do list. In fact, it’s so easy to ignore yourself, your needs, and your emotions completely.
According to Kuile, some of the most popular ways to connect with the self are through sacred reading (not even religious, he has a podcast about treating Harry Potter as a scared text) and sabbath.
I had a Jewish roommate and she lovingly talked about Shabbat and how meaningful it was for her. I even went to a Shabbat dinner once, surrounded by friends and candle light.
It was transformative.
Even though I am never on my phone during dinner with others, having the intention of this dinner being tech and distraction free with the purpose of connecting with others…. that was powerful. It completely changed how the evening felt and it made it so much more special; truly hit on a different level.
Kuile suggest that we can see sabbath through three categories: a sabbath from technology, for alone time, and for play and creativity. And while some sabbaths can be a whole day, you can do whatever feels right for you: a few minutes, an hour, half a day…
I love the idea of a play and creativity sabbath — a special time that you dedicate to reconnect with pleasure. We view pleasure and joy as only things to reward ourselves with if all the “important” things are done. But to have a practice that you come back to week after week, where you dedicate yourself and your time to something that makes you feel alive… that’s transformative. Especially if you show up with the intention of using that time to connect deeper to yourself, to give yourself pleasure, to be kind and loving to yourself.
I was also intrigued by a tech sabbath. I can (grumpily) admit that I’m very into my technology. I am not someone who hates social media or finds it draining. In fact, I love tiktok and love how much I’ve learned. I love keeping up with my friends around the world through Instagram. When bored, I love to watch all sorts of random stuff on YouTube. However, I do want to live life more off screen and offline. Kuile goes into detail about how he takes Friday evening to Saturday evening off of technology and he takes that commitment seriously. He doesn’t plan things during that time. He will say no to plans and obligations (minus weddings and funerals).
This has me planning on how I can create my own sabbaths and, of course, connect with things I’m already doing and keep it small and sustainable so I will continue with it.
Connecting with Nature
When we commune with nature, we are able to truly feel who connected we all are. (And there are studies to show it!) We are also able to remember what truly matters.
Kuile discusses a few different ways one can connect to nature: going on a pilgrimage, celebrating the seasons, imagining oneself as one with nature.
He also goes into details about seasonal living and creating your own nature-inspired holidays. As you may know, this is right up my ally and something I already do. I love living with the seasons and I find it a soothing anecdote to the capitalistic, toxic hustle/burnout culture we’re currently in.
Some tidbits I enjoyed from this chapter:
Kuile discussed how you can get creative with traditions such as pilgrimages. Sometimes when he goes running (an activity he doesn’t really enjoy), he’ll admire his natural surroundings and say, “For the glory of life! I’m running for you, tree.” And it can change his entire run.
Putting myself in his shoes and imagining saying this to the trees (which I have a very close relationship to), brings tears to my eyes. What a meaningful statement!
He also talked about bringing nature to activities you already enjoy. He spoke of getting married and wanting to make nature a piece of the gathering. So before the cake was cut, all those in attendance took a short walk through the forest.
One of my favorite stories in the chapter, and maybe the entire book, was talking about a Hungarian-Israeli woman who taught cooking classes. Before she even had folks touch the food, she had the students go out into the garden and imagine they were carrots. They then had to visualize going through the entire life-cycle of the carrot. Through dissolving the boundaries between humans and nature, folks were able to appreciate the food more, waste less, and see themselves as nature itself.
My Takeaways
I enjoyed this book a lot. So much so that I’m going to buy it so I can reference it and annotate it (the only downside to library books).
Some things I’m going to implement in my life:
I’m going to incorporate more tech-free time in my life and create specific creative play time.
I’m going to make my outdoor time more of a ritual — connect with the trees, feel one with the earth. When I take a walk or read outside, I’m going to dedicate my activity to my favorite tree or the grass.
Create rituals throughout the week that I look forward to, such as waffles and reading and tea on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
I’m going to make a bigger deal of my favorite holidays, especially the nature-inspired ones or the silly ones (like my Mama Mia day and Eurovision finale).
Want to create more rituals and connections around nature?
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