You Deserve Joy & Pleasure
Your joy journey is important work.
We cannot survive on shadow work or “hard work” alone. Joy is essential for human life and yet it’s seen as trivial, unimportant, or even wasteful.
This is a recent shift I had on my own joy journey.
I love my little gratitude practice. I write them morning and night. They have become a powerful ritual to help calm my brain, retrain my brain, and provide massive support.
A few days ago I was writing:
I’m very thankful for my body. I’m so proud of it. So proud of all it has gone through and all of its growth.
And then a ping came to me:
And I’m grateful for all the joy it experiences.
🤯
It felt like a record scratch. I immediately paused my writing and took a deep breath.
Wow, had I ever thanked my body for the joy it experiences? That it has the capacity to receive pleasure and joy and fun?
What a miraculous and marvelous thing!
Honestly, what a gift.
I, like so many of us, have had a complicated relationship around fun and joy and pleasure.
(Gentle reminder, this subject can bring up a lot, so be gentle with yourself. Social media makes us aware of all the “fun” other people are having and how big the fun is and how much more of it others are having. Society tells us what is fun and what isn’t, ignoring all the small things that can bring us joy. Even more, these things can seem impossible and so far away if folks are burnt out and/or marginalized and experience oppression from so many sources every day.)
I remember in the beginning of my spiritual journey hitting up every Facebook group I was in and asking:
How do I have fun?
Why can’t I seem to do the things that I know will make me happy?
How do I find out what even makes me happy anymore?
Joy seemed so far out of reach that it was as if it was in a different language. I couldn’t decipher it. I couldn’t make it make sense in my own world.
I have come a long way since then (and will share what I’ve learned on that journey at another time), and it’s something I still grapple with.
Later that night when I wrote my gratitude again, I graciously thanked my body for its capacity of joy.
And something shifted.
It reminded me that joy/fun/laughter/pleasure…. they’re sacred practices. Basically essential nutrients that we all need to thrive. And I truly honored to give this joy/fun/laughter/pleasure to my mind, body, and soul.
Like, how wonderful my body can experience pleasure! That I wheeze and sometimes snort when I laugh, that I have the ability to have smile/laughing lines on my face to show the world that I have fought for my pleasure and I succeeded.
A reminder that what we focus on grows (which is why I love gratitudes and affirmations).
So when I focus on my body being healthy and strong and writing that in my twice daily gratitude list, the more I reprogram my subconscious and believe it.
And it's the same with joy.
The more I focus on my body being a powerful receiver of fun, pleasure, and joy, the more I reprogram my subconscious and believe it.
And let me share something else...something feels different in me now.
I truly feel like I opened up some sort of door and I'm able to see all the joyful possibilities that I was blind to before.
And perhaps you are blind to it too.
Do not forget: You contain multitudes. You have the ability to grow and shift and heal and unlearn and receive joy and love and pleasure.
Yet most in our society would put more emphasis on the “tough” and “hard” things of life — the sacrifices you made to get to where you are; the blood, sweat, and tears — rather than the happy pleasures.
And I’m not saying don’t do the hard things or don’t feel proud of yourself for doing them. Please, feel proud of yourself; you’re amazing!
But is there not just as much importance in the softer things? Like, allowing yourself to smell the roses? To take in the beautiful sunset? To choose laughter with loved ones?
There is just as much “sacrifice" and “hard work” in choosing joy in a world that doesn’t care about your well being or happiness or basic human needs. In a world that doesn’t think those things are important or valuable and yet are a cornerstone of human life.
So if it feels good to you, thank your own body for all the pleasure and joy it has ever received and witnessed. And allow yourself to open up to it more.
You deserve to feel all the pleasure and joy, my friend.
This was an exert from my bi-weekly newsletter, The Energy Current.
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