5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started My Spiritual Healing Journey
I was just going really deep on my spiritual/ healing journey when I booked this healer who I continued with besides my better judgement.
An influencer I followed and liked said that this modality changed her life.
So, I went through with the session and long story short, it did change my life.
But not in the way that you think.
But first, let me set the scene: I was in my second year of living in a new state, in grad school, and very isolated. My dad had just died less than 3 years before and I was still in the thick of it. Everything seemed really hard. My anxiety was through the roof, new health issues and fears were popping up all the time, and all my time was spent at grad school and the library. My bit of joy was shopping the aisles of Whole Foods but then I started to get anxiety attacks and had to rush to my car in tears.
I had started to finally feel a bit of reprieve, not even feeling back to 30%, but I decided to book an energy healer/hypnotist to get even better.
I didn’t read anything really about the healer, but she was the most affordable compared to others in her modality and that’s all I needed to know.
We had our discovery call and it went fine. Then it came time for our 1:1 session. She was late. I emailed her and she apologized (she didn’t have me in her calendar) but immediately called me. We had another discovery call, acting as if she’s never met me before, and I was like no, we already did this. She apologized again and said we could go ahead with the 1:1.
I remember having doubts. I could tell she was super flighty and not in the right headspace. And to be honest, I wasn’t super impressed with her and wondering if I should even move forward with this healing. Like, was it a sign that I wasn’t even in her calendar? That she didn’t even remember me?
But I was impatient as hell and wanted to be “healed” so badly. I wasn’t happy with the 30% I was feeling. I wanted 100%.
The session was traumatic. The modality was not gentle. Too much trauma came up at once (and looking back, I think a lot of it was past life/ancestral but didn’t know that at the time). This threw me into an immediate relapse, making me feel worse than I had ever felt. More so, my nervous system was already so disregulated and this made it so much worse. I had anxiety attacks multiple times a day. And I had no sort of plan or support to help me.
It was awful.
To keep a long story short (and to not re-live the trauma), this is when I found my energy therapist, which you may know changed everything for me. I was eventually able to support my nervous system, release stored emotions and heavy things, and truly heal.
But damn, did it have to be so hard and grueling to get there?
I don’t believe it has to be. So let me share some of the things that I learned so you don’t make the same mistakes that I did.
Things I wish I knew Before I Started My Spiritual Journey
1. Go Slow and Be Gentle
I am someone who goes all in. If a little of something is good, then a lot of it is better.
And in the beginning, I lived by this mentality. I remember being like, well if I can just dedicated the next 2-3 years on “all the work”, then I’ll be completely healed and able to return to “the real world”.
That is not what happened.
First off, there is no “healed” person. Healing work is a life long thing. There is never a time where you wipe your hands and go, okay — my healing working is totally done.
Secondly, healing is hard. It sucks. It’s heavy. It makes you tender and vulnerable and if you aren’t giving yourself time to heal those tender and vulnerable spots, they can just keep getting deeper and more painful.
By going so deep all at once, by not giving myself a break, by not appreciating my growth… I really harmed myself.
I know going slow and being patient is hard, especially if you don’t feel great and are looking for more. But trust me, there is power in going slow, in being gentle with yourself.
2. Incorporate Joy
There’s a lot of pleasures to be had in our world. There’s flowers and sweet fruit and potatoes and cheese and sunsets and beautiful views and music and movies and love and laughter and smiles and so much more.
When I focused most of my time on shadow work, on working on heavy things, it left no room for joy. Instead, I was punishing myself without even realizing it.
Joy is not frivolous. It’s an important part of life. It strengthens your mind, body, and soul and allows for you to do hard things.
I know for a lot of folks, joy is a hard concept to reach up and grab. And more so, so many of us don’t even know what brings them joy or how to go about it. That isn’t your fault. You have not failed yourself; society has failed us all. I will write more about this one day, but until then, I always like to tell folks to get curious with the concept of joy.
3. Be in Community
My spiritual journey was a lonely one. I learned as a kid to isolate myself when things got hard. (And this is something that I still work with.) And in our western culture, hyper-individualism is taught and praised. There are so many stories about people who succeeded by pulling themselves by their bootstraps, of never letting people see you weak, of praising the individual.
But that’s not how humans are meant to be. Community is in our blood. Humans survived because of their community, because of the support of others.
And modern life, and your spiritual journey, are no different.
In fact, being isolated and individualistic in your spirituality is harmful to others. So it’s our duty to come together and be together.
4. Pick Your Healers Wisely
When I first started using healers, I would give all my power away. I thought they knew better because they were trained. I didn’t think to set my own boundaries (energetic ones, too) or tell them when I felt overwhelmed, etc because, again, I thought they knew more than me.
I’d also pick healers on their affordability (and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that). But I think we need to include more barometers than that: do you have similar values and ideologies, do they support human rights, do you have a good gut feeling about them, do they make you feel good about yourself, do they try to sell you a miracle pill/give off a culty vibe…
That’s why I think it’s important to use your discernment. You are the expert in your body. You are the hero in your journey.
5. Take Responsibility for Yourself
I send past me so much love, but honestly, I had no business being out there doing all the shadow work and healing by doing too much and with no support — professional or otherwise
Most healing work is trauma work and like said before, it’s not easy. Make sure you have what you need to support yourself as best you can.
That includes support — therapists, sponsors, friends, a moon circle, family, a partner, your pet.... And community, joy and simple pleasures, movement, love, boundaries, and so much more.
Interested in going deeper on your own healing journey?
Check out my 1:1 sessions.
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