7 Reasons Why Being 33 is Better than 17
This blog post is in response to a tiktok comment I made that got attention. The creator was turning 18 and was nervous and asking folks if they wish they were 17 and I responded a big hell no.
In honor of my 33rd birthday, here are 7 ways why there’s no way in hell I’d want to be 17 again.
(Please note that there are way more than 7 reasons, lol.)
I have the freedom and experience to say no to things.
I know what works for me and what doesn’t work for me now. So I now say NO to things that I hate and I live with more freedom and less resentment. At 17, I remember being a ball of hate, sucking it up and thinking that was life. Living in resentment is no way to live.
I’ve built up resiliency and positive coping mechanisms.
I can ask for help; I no longer think people should read my mind. I can retreat and give myself time to heal and support. I can journal and cry and allow others to support and comfort me. I can call on a therapist and have done so many times. At 17, I was an open wound and I had pretty harmful coping mechanisms. And it didn’t take much to push me over the edge. To be fair, I had a rough middle/high school years. I was angry and sad and angsty all of the time and kept everything inside.
I choose happiness and don’t let myself get dragged into harmful narratives.
I have worked on being happy: taking meds to help my anxiety and depression, figuring out what makes me happy and then doing those things, being careful with the media I consume. At 33, I know there is NO beauty in the breakdown, in being a train wreck. Being healthy and sober and happy is a goal worth pursing. At 17, I idealized train wrecks. It was 2003-2007 and my saved folders on my old PC was filled with wasted, thin girls and I would wish I was them. It was the era of dangerously thin stars (Lindsay Lohan, Mary Kate Olsen, Hilary Duff, etc…) and it seemed so glamorous to be strung out and emaciated. (Anyone else remember the movie Thirteen?) It was completely damaging and took a long time to heal from this. And to be honest, I can easily slip back into this mindset, so I work hard to make sure I don’t surround myself with that sort of person, media or narratives. This includes my own self-talk. Self-deprecating jokes were so funny at 17 and it made me feel cool and accepted and able to blend in. It wasn’t funny; all it did was quickly rob me of any self-worth or belief that I was capable of anything.
I like myself and i know what I bring to the table.
I love who I am. I love what I’m about. I love how I show up in the world. I love my body most days. I’m a great friend. I’m a bomb hype girl. I plan fantastic parties and trips and. I have a lot of love to give. Basically, I have a lot to offer. I know my worth and I won’t settle. 17 year old me couldn’t even imagine being worthy. I looked for friends in very low places and gave a lot of my power away begging for attention and connection. I also didn’t see myself represented in media at 17. There was no true plus size fashion for teens, no plus size models, no body neutrality or body acceptance. It was so much harder to love myself then.
I found places where I feel connected and accepted.
At the core, we all just want to belong and be accepted and that connection is pivotal for my mental health. And I’ve now found the places and people in my life were I have those things. Plus, I got to leave my hometown to search for it which allowed me to open my horizons and see myself differently. At 17, I was a misfit and proud of that fact. But that just pushed me away from connection since I grew up in a small, conservative town. I didn’t feel like I belonged and it wrecked my already teetering mental health. I also rebelled for rebelling sake and cut my nose off despite my face just to stay edgy. (Please note: I was edgy for me and my family, lol. I am sure no one in my graduating class would call me edgy.)
My frontal cortex finished developing.
No deep explanation here, lol. My brain just finished growing and I get to make sounder decisions and stop reacting from only my emotions. I remember the dumb things I thought I could do and get away with at 17 and looking back I cannot believe I thought those things were legit.
With more life under my belt, life is cooler.
I’ve lived a very blessed and privileged life after 17. I’ve traveled a lot. Made friends all over the world and have a lot of couches to crash if I needed to. I’ve got to learn things I’m really passionate about. Go to concerts of musicians I’m obsessed with. I’ve run 5ks and bought a car and had my life changed by people I care about and have changed the lives of people who cared about me. I lived in big cities and in foreign countries. Had a spiritual awakening. Started this business. Things that I couldn’t even have imagined at 17, things that weren’t even on my radar or even were possible. My view of the world and possible paths were so small at 17. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I mean, Youtube was only 2 years old when I graduated high school.
Did I need this list when I was 17? Hell yeah I did.
Do I think I would have even had the emotional intelligence and capacity to understand it? Probably not.
So if I had to tell my 17 year old self something it’d be: it gets better.
As you get older, you get to learn how to make a life that works for you. You get to learn skills, techniques and ways to unlearn those harmful patterns and make life sweeter.
And that’s pretty damn special.
Cheers to our ages, friends! It’s a true privilege and honor.
PS: I love celebrating people’s birthdays.
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